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  • Writer's pictureAlex Antally

Loving Myself

Locked in a room for years, not wanting to explore the world, she wasn't even trying to breathe, the universe was whatever, she thought she felt it all and knew it all, until he came along. It's funny how someone you just met out of nowhere can make you feel like it's meant to be, this is it and you are willing to breathe again, your mindset changes and all you think of is that everything is going to be okay.

Sadly people don't come with signs around their necks that say "DANGER" or "HEARTBREAK", no one ever tells you that he would leave one day sending you to a even darker room then before... and then, how are you supposed to breathe again?

It took me awhile to understand that I didn't love myself back then, and I'm still learning how to be okay in my own skin, it's hard not to give all that you have to a human being that can leave anytime with no explanation or whatsoever, and it's hard, it's so hard to keep yourself, to keep who you are and not get lost just to please someone you wish would want to stay forever. But along the road I learned that nothing lasts forever, love is a feeling very few of us can keep alive, God knows I wish someone loves me the way I give love, but I can't seek for it anymore. What's meant to be will be, that's what I keep on telling myself now, I believe in karma, the universe is so much more then what we read about and know. Loving yourself, loving myself is what comes first from now on, I figured I don't have enough time to fix broken heart and heal wounds, when no one wants to take care of mine. I'm broken and I know that now, I keep on putting that gold mask on to make things alright. But at the end of the day I'm hurt and no song, no poem, no book can change that.

I get lonely like everyone else, and I cry.

I'm a human being that chose to be hidden behind a mask that broke.

She is me and he is you, love is a mystery that I wish I can solve one day,

but I don't need you to save me anymore, I'm fine on my own.

P.S. To myself,

don't get lost. (22)

- Alex Antally 🌸

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