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Your name hurts in so many ways

01/27/2019


It's 2am and I can't open my flu medicine, not quite sure if I miss home in situations like this one, or it's the high temperature that makes me think of you... just you...

I see you sometimes, I imagine what would it be like if I was still home, would it be nice to see you once more, or maybe no?! I lose my mind from time to time, the world just leaves me hanging, wishing I could write down the way I feel about this whole thing, but I can't, a lot of people would say it's so, so, so inappropriate, and it probably is... My old friends mention your name every now and then, it hurts sometimes, most of the times it makes me smile when I'm reminded of us... They all say I ran away, left everything behind and gave you a name in my poetry, hoping nobody would recognize my muse, well they could be right. Perhaps I should apologize to all the people I’ve hurt, while picturing your arms. I need to be hugged like a baby every now and then, you know, when the world gets too heavy to carry on my shoulders, I wish someone would come and take over for just a day, and show me how much it meant to know my worth, how much joy loving myself brought into my world… I lied before... your name hurts when I want you to be here but you're not. Your name hurts in so many ways I can't explain, but it hurts the most when I imagine a world where you stayed...


P.S. It's 2am and I can't open my flu medicine, come take the world of my shoulders.



- Alex Antally 🌸


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